So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize