It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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