She said her name was "party"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
