The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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