Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
