God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
