I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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