she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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