i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
