walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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