So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
