well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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