What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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