I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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