You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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