I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
