And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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