Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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