I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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