im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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