I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
