does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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