70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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