I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
