The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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