pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
