You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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