I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
