The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize