I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
