no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
