i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
