Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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