please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Congratulations! We have a period
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
