thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
