He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
