Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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