The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize