Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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