doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my being single is dangerous.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
