Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
These tits shall not be calmed
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