i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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