You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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