Just fell off a train. Bad.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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