She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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