he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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