just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
