its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
