Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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