my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
