nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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