you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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