Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
