brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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