only if we run a train.
done.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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