i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
