it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
