idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
