I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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